Weirdo. Sara Pascoe. 2023.

I used to think my mum could see me through the cat.

Deep in Essex and her own thoughts, Sophie had a feeling something was going to happen, and then it did. It's December, and Chris has entered the pub and re-entered her life, just when Sophie had finally stopped thinking about him and regretting what she'd done.

Sophie has a chance at creating a new ending and paying off her emotional debts (if not her financial ones). All she has to do is act exactly like a normal, well-adjusted person and not say any of her inner monologue out loud. If she can suppress her light paranoia, pornographic visualisations and pathological lying, maybe she'll even end up getting the guy she wants?

Then she can dump her boyfriend lan and try to behave like someone who knows how to enjoy Christmas.