Series of unfortunate events: bad beginning; reptile room; wide window. Lemony Snicket. 2004.

Regular price $9.00

Dear Fan of Count Olaf,

I’m sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely boring. If you are looking for entertainment, you would have a much better time watching a movie starring a handsome count.

My major motion picture, for example, starring me, features a mansion burnt to a crisp, a deadly serpent, an impressive sailor with a manly eye patch, and three sad orphans lucky enough to meet a dashing count. True, this book has all the same details, but there are so many words in it, you’ll be bored to tears.

Take my advice: put this thing down at once and rush to your local cinema to marvel at my ground-breaking performance in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Of course you may have my autograph.

Count Olaf.