Mad cows. Kathy Lette. 2008.

Maddy’s first day out with her newborn takes a Kafkaesque turn when she’s arrested in Harrods for shoplifting. If this is a miscarriage of justice, then detaining her in Holloway Prison’s Mother and Baby Unit is the curette.

Finding herself a runner-up in the human race, the only person Maddy can turn to is her hot-to-trot ex-lover Alex……who proves himself as useful as a solar-powered vibrator on a rainy day.